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That's Entertainment      May-June 2017

BTW

 

Demonic Circle It was announced that a right-wing church called Open Door Baptist Church of Easley, SC, forgot to renew the name of their popular website, WarningsOfWrath.com, and the domain name was promptly bought by a gay rights activist who redirected the URL to “scaryfuckers.com”—a gay porn site that may be shocking even to those who tend to like gay porn sites. The ironically named Open Door Church is known for its practice of picketing GLBT events with signs telling participants that they’re going straight to hell. There was glee in the gay blogosphere over the carelessness of the church and the cleverness of the switcheroo. On the other hand, considering the truly extreme nature of the activities on scaryfuckers.com, one wonders if people seeking WarningsOfWrath aren’t finding just the confirmation they were looking for.

Norwegian policeScandinavian Outerwear Of all the contenders for the world’s most manly men, Norwegians have to be up there near the top of the macho hit parade. They’re the descendants of Erik the Red and the Vikings, inhabitants of a rugged land that shields the rest of Europe from arctic squalls. Only this could explain the self-confidence of the men of the Norwegian police force in their selection of a summer uniform. Behold!

Scandinavian Underwear Baseball legend Derek Jeter is being sued for pulling out of an endorsement deal with a Swedish company, RevolutionWear, the maker of “Frigo” underwear. All the Jeter people would say is that the item is “too gay” for the slugger to endorse; and they noted that it was also being promoted by rap artist 50 FrigoCent, whose image could be “too urban” for Jeter. What that might be a euphemism for is anyone’s guess, but back to the first objection: it does raise the question of what makes men’s underwear “gay.” Frigo has a pretty butch image: its wearers are usually shown with beautiful babes hanging all over them. The brand’s unique feature is that it has an adjustable pouch for comfort and support—adjustable, because men differ in how they fill out a pair of under-trow. You just make the adjustment once, and voilà! And yet, perhaps there is a moment of truth when you carry out this initial setup, and you can’t help wondering, for example, how 50 Cent is faring. In the end, RevolutionWear says it lost $30 million when Jeter reneged, and it also plans to sue him for defamation. Hey, the Swedes are known for their tolerance toward GLBT people; just don’t say their is underwear gay!

He Needed Evidence! Okay, this is a sad and even tragic tale, but it’s just quirky enough to be unavoidable. To get the tragic part out of the way: the end came when police detective David Edward Abbott of Manassas City, Virginia, shot and killed himself to avoid being arrested for solicitation of a thirteen-year-old boy. As a member of the local Internet Crimes against Children Task Force, Abbott had been investigating a “sexting” case in the DC area. In fact, he had already made some news when he sought a warrant to photograph the erect penis of one of the teenage suspects. And while the warrant was denied, the request was weird enough to raise a few eyebrows. An investigation revealed that Abbott (also a part-time coach) had had relations with at least two other boys, one as young as eleven. Thus his motive for seeking to photograph the accused boy’s boner seems transparent enough; seeking a court order to obtain it was just a bit too transparent, as luck would have it.

Therapist, Heal Thyself! At first the ex-gay movement seemed scary—could they really “cure” some homos and make them go straight? Then came the sightings of ex-gay leaders at gay bars and on hook-up sites, suggesting that the therapy wasn’t working too well. Then reports started to filter out from groups like Exodus International of bizarre practices such as “strip therapy” that seemed, if anything, to re-enact gay sex scenes rather than suppress them. And now we have, thanks to a New Jersey trial, a window into the mind of an ex-gay leader. Meet Alan Downing, former therapist for the now defunct Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (jonah), which closed after losing a lawsuit for consumer fraud. Perhaps trying to look like a real therapist, Downing had taken copious notes during therapy sessions, pages of which were displayed on a giant monitor at the trial. And what a tale they told! On one page Downing had drawn a stick figure with a bulging behind and written the words “butt = I am cute,” “play with me,” and “fluffy butt.” Another page showed a matrix of all the men a client found attractive, with detailed notes about their physical traits, such as: “Smooth skinned, no facial, attracted to buttocks.” Throughout the notebooks there’s a fascination with the sexual practices of clients, a prurience not unlike that of teenage boys. Indeed, the pattern that emerges is that ex-gay therapy was mostly about the therapists trying to work through their own conflicts and fantasies. Thousands of former ex-gay clients, including some therapists, have now come out openly and seem to be doing fine—proving once again that the truth is what will set you free.


More Guns and Dildos
Last issue’s “BTW” reported on a student action at UT-Austin in response to a new Texas law that allows students to carry concealed weapons on campus, which is to carry dildos (not guns) in their backpacks. Commented the organizer: “Dildos and guns are in it together for the long haul.” Confirmation for this dictum was soon forthcoming when it was reported that some high-profile militia leaders across the USA have been receiving hundreds of dildos in the mail. A clip that went viral shows a frustrated militia guy angrily sweeping a pile of the floppy phalluses from his kitchen table. The underlying idea seems to be that these militia men collect guns as a surrogate for penises, or perhaps as an extension of their own. You need guns to feel like a man? Take these!

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